So you want to be in a burlesque festival?

**DISCLAIMER** 
Please note that the opinions expressed here are mine alone and do not reflect those of the rest of the Southern Fried Burlesque Fest staff, volunteers or the anonymous members of the selection committee.  Also, these opinions are from my personal experiences, yours may vary, but as these are opinions there is no right or wrong.
**END DISCLAIMER**

I have the great joy of putting on a festival and bringing people from all over the world together for an amazing weekend of burlesque in Atlanta.  We have received at least 100 applications (sometimes double or triple that) each year since we started.  In March we will have our 4th Annual Southern Fried Burlesque Fest.  We actually just sent out the acceptance letters which is very exciting for everyone that got in.  If you got an acceptance letter, this blog is not for you.

This blog is for everyone else that got a "thanks, but no thanks" email.  For those people that feel hurt, rejected or betrayed because of the unfairness of not getting in or for those people that honestly just want to be better received when they send in applications.  So I take it back, I guess even if you got in this may help you in the future...who knows.  I get asked all the time, "How can I get in a festival?" because I run one and I've performed at a lot of them.  So here ya go, I'm finally going to answer the question for you all.

1) Apply - I know a lot of people that complain that they're never going to be good enough to get in.  Well, you never know until you try so just do it!  Also, many festivals have new comer showcases and it's a great way to break into the festival circuit and get your first taste in a low pressure way, it's a new comer showcase, they're not going to compare you to Dirty Martini, they're going to cheer you on for being new and brave!

2) Tape your acts - Even if its just a rehearsal video, and watch them.  See what you look like on the video.  See what works, where you can improve, what you can do to get a better video...always look to see if you're giving good face.  See if your costume translates well.  Check yourself, because videos are always crap compared to live performances, but you still want the best video you can get, even if it's just a rehearsal video in your kitchen.

3) Fill out the form correctly - This one I'm going to break down for you because this is important.  My suggestion is to actually look at the application, make a check list and then make sure you have everything.  Many festivals are moving to Google docs so you have to sit down and fill it all out at once and then submit but you can still look at it BEFORE you submit so make sure you have everything you need before you do so.

*I'm going to use the SFBF form as an example**

-Stage Name/Group Name: this should be self explanatory, make sure you put in your stage name if you're applying as a solo or your group name if you're applying as a duet or group.

-Website: This can be your personal website, which I highly recommend, you can make a free one on Weebly or Wix and it can contain an organized chaos of you.  Pictures, videos, etc...  If you don't have one of these use a Facebook Fan Page or something like that.  We don't want to see anything we have to "friend" or sign up for so it better be public and accessible to everyone.

-Legal Name: Again should be self explanatory, but it's apparently not.  Your legal name is what is on your driver's license, unless you are World Famous Bob or Tempest Storm I seriously doubt your stage name is your legal name.  Do not put your stage name or a nick name here.  Seriously...

-Email: this is the email that we will be contacting you with for EVERYTHING.  Make sure it is one that you actually check on a regular basis.  Do not use an email that you never look at or an email (such as work) that will freak out over the word pastie or something like that.

-Age requirements: Generally most festivals have a minimum age because of the venue and the fact that we're taking our clothes off in public.  In Atlanta everyone must be 18+, we prefer 21+ because we do have a bar though it is the bar's job to check IDs, we do mark anyone who is 18-20 as such to be safe.

-Where do you wish to be listed from: what city are you claiming as your home town.  We like to show off the diversity of where all of our performers are from.  Please put an actual place, not some made up place.  Nicknames like Hotlanta are okay (But seriously I hate that one so please NEVER use Hotlanta in place of Atlanta, just as a favor to me)

-Bio: if you're a solo put your bio, if you're a group use the groups bio.  However, the part that everyone pretty much messes up if the word count.  We have a 150 word count, however, people send us sometimes 1000 word bios.  I don't care how spectacular it is, you're showing us you can't follow directions.  Learn to use the word count on your word processor, show everyone that you can follow directions and be awesome!

-Songs and Artist: No really, we want the name of every song and who is singing it that you use in your act.  Don't put "this is a special mix", put every song and who did it.  Why, we don't want to have two people doing the same song and we also want to make sure that we don't put two people with the same artist back to back.  We only hear a song one time per festival, that's the rules.

-Description of act: Any changes from the video (we'll get to that in a minute) and anything that has been updated such as costume, prop or other act changes.  We're going to watch the act, we will see it, you do not need to write a play by play, a synopsis and updates are fine.  We have to go through 100s of applications, please go for short and sweet.

-Video: Have one.  I don't care who you know, I don't care if you know me, the selection committee is often all over the place and they are sent the responses to the applications via internet so they can view the videos and vote.  I don't care if I've known you since the beginning of time and have seen every performance you've ever done, that doesn't help the people making the call because guess what, THERE'S A COMMITTEE, I DO NOT PICK OUT ALL THE PERFORMERS.  I pick out and do contracts with the headliners so if you're applying you're really not my problem. No video means you are disqualified.
Please make sure that your link works.  We had multiple submissions whose links didn't work.  They were: Password protected (most festivals will not look at anything that requires a password), taken down (you should leave it up until you get your response), blocked (I do not recommend using Google, Dropbox or Facebook), or part of a larger video (make sure you're just submitting a link to the one video, not a series of videos of your acts.
Also, no montages.  If you are asked for a link to the video of the act then it should be the act from beginning to end.  We have actually regretted not admitting people into the competition because they sent us a montage of their act so the committee couldn't see what was going on and it turned out to be amazing and since it was someone no one had heard of before they didn't know it was going to be amazeballs.  Both the festival and the performer lost out because of a bad video.
The best thing you can do is a wide stationary angle so we can see you from head to toe.  Please do not put the camera in the nose bleed section, but far enough away that we can actually see your entire act and close enough to still be able to see if you have good face or not.
If you have never performed the act in full you probably should not be submitting it to a burlesque festival.  Acts submitted to a festival should be polished, the costume should be there (we understand you may not have all the rhinestones glued on yet or missing something specific like I will have aquamarine gloves with fringe attached rather than the black ones being used) and so should your choreography.  If it's new you should still have these things, even if it's a rehearsal video.  Rehearsal videos are totally fine as long as the act is there, even if you don't have a piece and you say hat and how us how you would hold the hat, etc... and can mime it out so we can see the number, this is still awesome.  Please only send the act.  There shouldn't be an interview with you explaining the act.  If you are missing something we understand, put that in the notes and show us what you have.  We do not have time to fast forward through your apologies and explanations of what will be coming, the committee can only go by the video they see.  They most likely don't know you and don't know if the promises you're making are full of shit or not, just do the act to the best of your ability.

-What are you submitting for: Please pay attention to what you're submitting for.  If you submit for best variety and it says no striptease or pasties then don't submit an act in which you strip to pasties, even if it's on a lyra.  NO STRIP TEASE MEANS NO STRIP TEASE.  If you have been performing for more than 2 years then do not submit to the New Performer Showcase that states 2 years or less.  If you are submitting for King or Queen, best male or female solo, it MUST BE A SOLO.  If you require another person on stage then it is not a solo.  If the other person is optional and can be removed please say that in your description/notes.  You must make sure you submit for the right category or you will be disqualified.

-Payment: If you send Paypal and it says you must include your stage name with payment, please put your stage name in the notes.  This is also a reason we ask for your legal name.  These are ways we can make sure you paid the money to apply.  If you don't pay your application won't be reviewed.  Make it easy on us to find out if you've paid or not. No payment means you are disqualified.

4) Go to festivals - Part of the problem with people not understanding why they weren't accepted is that they never go to festivals.  They do not see how much people step up their game in order to perform at these big, international shows in either showcases or competition.  Festivals aren't just fun to do, they're a way to network and let other performers and producers see how amazing they are so they will get hired for other shows.
Even if you're not performing getting out there to see who go it, networking and being a part of the community is an important part of getting into festivals.  If your video and someone else's video have the same score and the other person is better known that's probably who will get in.  It's not that you weren't good enough, at that point it's a matter of limited spots and they went with the safer, known quantity.

5) Never give up! -   Perhaps I have a thicker skin from years of theater, but you can't give up.  Everyone gets rejected sometimes.  I've been in a bunch of festivals, but I have also been turned down for a bunch of festivals, you have to keep trying.  Some festivals have a theme and you didn't happen to fit into it.  Some festivals get a ton of applications and only around 20-30% of the applicants get to perform, at that point it's just a numbers game.  More than one person submitted the same song, if the acts are equally good then who ever is better known and submitted first is probably going to get in, being musically obscure is your friend.  Similar concept or trick, SFBF will only accept so many classic, so many fans, so many nerdlesque, so many of each type of act.  You do not want to watch an entire evening of the same act over and over again, let alone and entire festival.  It may have just been too similar to other acts that were accepted.

I hope this helps out some people who are looking to apply for the first time or perhaps have been discouraged.  Just keep stepping up your game and doing your best.  It will happen for you as long as you keep improving yourself and keep submitting.  (a little networking never hurt either)

Southern Fried, Lady Lay, Taste, and other things that will amaze you!

After Southern Fried Burlesque Fest...which was amazing and I cannot say enough good things about everyone that was involved.  Frankly though it deserves it's own post, but I just am so far behind that's just not going to happen for me.  Our special guests: Roxie D'Lite, Russell Bruner, Toni Elling, Juith Stein, Orchid Mei, Talloolah Love, Kisa von Teasa and all of our amazing performers in all the showcase and the competitors for the crown.  So proud that Atlanta's own Lola le Soleil won the Southern Fried Queen.  It's our first time keeping the crown in state!  The hotel was amazing and we will be going back next year, our dates are March 20-23, 2014 and we hope that you will all save the date.  In lieu of the fact that I'm so far behind, go see the pretty pictures that StunGun Photography took, you can click the link and see their awesome show shots.  They were also nice enough to take some studio shots as well.

So why have I been so far behind?  Well, as I started to say before I got distracted...after Southern Fried Burlesque Fest I immediately started working as Lighting Designer for an awesome production over at 7 Stages called Lady Lay.  This was moderately terrifying as I had never designed a full show before, especially of this magnitude.  There's stuff flying in from all over the place, crashing all around and ruining all of my standard sites lines and creating shadows.  So that was what I had to work around.  Did I also mention that the last two weeks of tech were on top of my finals for school?  Yeah, that was fun.  So I get the show open, finish up my finals and then there are more events!

Taste of Theater is 7 Stages annual fundraiser which somehow, during all of this craziness, I agreed to help out with by booking and wrangling performers, helping herd cats (aka stage manage), costume about 15 people and make sure everything was loaded out at the end of the night.  Lady Lay opened on April 27th, my last final was on May 2nd, Taste of Theater was on May 3rd.  It was a lot of fun and we raised some money for the theater and everything was amazing.  There were performers from Musee de Couer, The Imperial Opa Circus and many Syrens of the South alumni.  The thing I love the most about Syrens not being a troupe is that we get to work with everyone.

So yeah, that's been my past month.  Coming up?  Tonight I am going to a fundraiser for Southern Fried Burlesque Fest...oh yeah, I'm producing it so add that to the list of things that I've been working on the past month.  We still have a few bills to pay off from 2013 so we need to get those straightened out ASAP.  $3000 and then we need $2000 to get the deposit for next year, total of $5000.  I sadly just can't do out of pocket any more so here's hoping that everyone has really enjoyed the past 3 years so we can raise the money to keep it going.  It costs around $15000 to put on the festival, it's a lot of money but it's a lot of fun too.  Sure, I don't get paid for it, none of us do,  and the fest owes me a little over $10,000 for the past four years of work, but we have a great time and it's the most expensive b-day party I could possibly have!

Hopefully things will be calmed down enough for a minute that I can get caught up on life.  So many people I haven't gotten to see, more theater gigs coming up, more burlesque shows and teaching more classes at Studio Burlesque.  It's crazy and it's busy and moderately insane, but I love it and it makes me happy.  If I could seriously just get paid to be in a theater all the time and make a living that way I would.  Someday....but until then I'm going to continue being insane and having a great time doing it.

2012-07-12/15 Colorado Burlesque Fest

So at 2am on July 4th I decided I needed to go to the Colorado Burlesque Fest because I have missed so many festivals this year due to being too busy to apply and I really missed my burlesque family.  It was one of those random occasions as I had just gotten back in touch with an old friend I hadn't seen in 10 years who also happened to live in Denver, Kisa von Teasa had done the "hey, you REALLY need to come to this" as had a few others and there were some personal things that came up so the universe was telling me to get out of town and get my ass to Denver.  So I found a cheap ticket, got a room with Amber Ray and made it happen.  

Thursday I was doing my oh crap packing as that's how I roll while I was waiting on Burnadette Cinders to come by to take me to the airport in exchange for two jars of Jalapeno Pickled Okra and lunch at Our Way Cafe.  I considered it to be a fair trade.  I got to the airport to take off at 2:30pm, hopped the plane and landed in Denver at 4:10pm, you have to love loosing two hours for the time change.  Miss Ida Claire was kind enough to come by to pick me up and take me to the hotel since she was already in town.  I got to the hotel and tracked down Amber and my other roomies Sirena Maria and StrOker Ace.  I had just enough time to get in the room and get ready for the Opening Night Gala at the Summit Music Hall!  I met up with Kisa von Teasa and Celtic Smith and got some amazing 3rd row seats for the show.  It was hosted by the awesomeness that is Cora Vette, I always love watching her MC.  She has such an amazing voice and stage presence that even with all of the horrible and tasteless things that come out of her mouth, you still love her...actually that's why you love her, but still.  The Thursday night show seemed to be more of a local showcase with a few other performers thrown in, seemingly most of Albuquerque.  The show over all was amazing and a lot of fun.  A few highlights included Sofia Soubrette and Naked Vegas with their fruit stand routine, Cherry Glitter Bomb and Shayne McMunchin with their Tarzan routine, Vivian MirAnn with her Minnie the Moocher routine and Perle Noire celebrating her birthday with an improvised routine with Cora Vette singing.  During the curtain call everyone sang happy birthday to Perle and then Lola van Ella distracted her while Sammich the Tramp snuck up behind Perle to hit her on the ass with a Shaving Creme Pie.  It was rather epic!

from Perle Noire's Facebook Page

After the show we all went back to the hotel for the after party in the hotel bar.  It was a lot of very silly and tired drunkenness as many of the attendees had just gotten in that day from many different time zones.  It was like a very rowdy family reunion where you actually like everyone that you're getting to see and is full of genre (and larger) celebrities like Roxi D'Lite, The Bishop of Burlesque and many others. After some time in the fray a splinter group of us were starving and ran off to the Denver Diner.  First, it was an adventure of trying to find where the diner was, which considering it was approximately three blocks away and the people walking got there the same time we did...there are a ridiculous amount of one way streets in a city we didn't know in our defense.  I ended up seated between Ida Claire and Vivian MirAnn so there was much hilarity in our little corner.  I think it was mostly the discussion of assorted bacon and other meats, but I truly feel even closer to Vivian than I did before that meal.  The food was eh, the service was pretty horrid, but hey, it's a 24 hour dinner where you can watch people bring in their tranny hookers they've bought roses for, which was kind of sweet. Would have only been better if the creepy frat boys at the table next to us had quite sending over their obnoxious emissary to bug the crap out of Vivian.  I think he was trying to hit on her but it was so odd and uncomfortable it mostly just made us want to leave and immediately take a shower.  So we left to go back to the hotel and get some rest before we kept the amazing weekend going.

2012-06 3rd Annual Carolina Burlesque Fest

I was very excited to be invited to perform at the 3rd Annual Carolina Burlesque Fest in Charleston, SC.  I put together a new number that had been banging around in my head for the occasion.  I debuted it a few weeks ago and got to perform it for the festival.  Below is my diary of random things from my adventures from the festival.

**Please note some links are actual links to websites, some are just links to photos, you'll only know if you click!**

Day 1, Thursday, June 7
On Thursday, June 7, B and I packed our bags and hit the road...for around 5 hours...  We had the amusement of discovering North, South Carolina and a few other odd ball things on the way.  Also, I discovered Tom's Bacon Cheddar Fries and Uncle Buck's Bacon Jerky.  I seriously love tacky truck stops for they have these amazing items as well as rhinestone belts and cowboy hats with leopard print and rhinestones. Had I the cash on hand they would have had all money money and I would be covered with shiny things.

We made it to the host hotel which would be our home for the next three days.  However, thanks to having tons of points we made it to our three day hotel stay with my only having to pay for one day so whoot being economical.  We were exhausted, played some text tag with Kisa von Teasa, and finally decided we were too tired to be functional or sociable and ended up at IHOP, this would prove to be a wonderful find for later evenings in the weekend.


Photos from the drive and around Charleston on Friday

Day 2, Friday, June 8
B and I woke up super early (okay, 8am, not that early, but well before burlesque standard time) so we could wander into Charleston, SC to take in some sights.  We parked at the battery and then walked around down town checking out the sites.  We'd been to Charleston before so it was nice to just wander around and admire the architecture and hunt for food.  Pretty much all of my travel is based on following my tummy to new and exotic places, it's how I maintain my girlish figure.  We had found some touristy brochures in the hotel lobby and one of them came with a $5 off coupon so we went to the Noisy Oyster to redeem our coupon. We started with She-Crab Soup.  It was very flashy, the bowl comes out with a mound of crab in the middle of the bowl, they pour the soup around it and then add the Sherry at the table.  Though tasty, was not as scrumptious as the hype would have us believe.  We then had the Crab Cake Fried Green Tomato Tower.  Though is sounded amazing, it left something to be desired.  Had they been a bit more generous with the sauce it would have been better.  We then split Shrimp and Grits which was very tasty as it also have sausage and other yummy bits in it!  We then walked back to the car and headed for Folly Beach.  We stripped down to swimsuits and dove in.  Seriously, I always love some down time at a beach and with my 110 Sunblock I was not afraid!  We spent a few hours there before heading back downtown to find dinner.

A few years ago we had wandered into a restaurant that we remembered to be amazing and we were determined to find it.  We drove around in circles for about an hour to first find the place and then to find parking.  The restaurant was Toast.  It still existed and was everything we remembered it to be!  They had a Bacon Bloody Mary! As if that wasn't enough as those are two great tastes that tasted like heaven together we had amazing food as well.  We had swordfish skewers, the MOST AMAZING SHE-CRAB SOUP EVER!  And an amazing crab cake sandwich with a roumalade mayo that was to die for.   And with a seriously happy tummy it was time to go get ready to see some awesome burlesque!

So the producers of the festival, Selia de'Katzmeow and Dolly Dee, were smart and had the host hotel less then 2 miles from the venue along with a shuttle service provided by the hotel so people could get back and forth.  What we didn't count on was that Army Wives decided to film ACROSS THE STREET!  So the blocked the entire road and we couldn't get to the parking lot or the venue.  We ended up parking a few blocks away and walking but all the circling and back tracking made us late.  These ladies do not mess around, their show started on time so an hour late meant we missed the entire first half of the show.  Apparently we walking in immediately after Atlanta performer Sunny Midnight got off stage.  I was super sad to miss the first half of the show, but was very impressed with what a tight ship they were running.  Sadly my pics are only of the second half, however, it was an amazing second half!  Marc Slomski was an amazing MC for the festival and with my "homies" Fonda Lingue, Lola LeSoleil, Talloolah Love and Kisa von Teasa in the second half I was super excited that I didn't miss everyone that I know.  I also managed to catch both of Burlesque Legend Gabriella Maze's performances along with a bunch of performers I had never gotten to see before which was wonderful.  After we went to DIG, which was lame as they had crap service and messed up orders and bills, however, please enjoy the photos from the show!


Photos from Friday's Celabra-TEASE Showcase

Day 3, Saturday, June 9th SHOW DAY!
After a night of burlesque, nachos and booze I slept in.  Not intentionally, but as I meant to take only one Tylenol PM and I am pretty sure I took two by mistake, I was unable to be woken until around 11/noonish.  At this point I wander down stairs to go smoke and find B and Lola LeSoleil downstairs chatting.  It is decided that food sounds amazing so we go back to Toast because my life is just better with Bacon Bloody Marys.  Once we were done with brunch we came back to the hotel so we could all take a much needed nap.  B and I chose to sleep in front of the TV in our hotel while Lola put on her super cute yellow bikini and napped by the pool in true vaca style!

I got to the venue at 6pm per my call time and did a quick walk through on the stage in my shoes to check for any gaps or weird spots on the stage.  It seemed good to go and so was I!  Sound guy, lighting guy, etc... were all there to ask/answer any questions, the whole experience was super professional and so easy.  B was kind enough to run to the liquor store and pick up some rum so I could have a drink before the show.  I had my two drink maximum before the show even started and as I was 10 slots in I was able to take a few pics before my performance and then a few after.  The show over all was pretty amazing!  So many amazing performers both on and off stage.  Seriously, everyone was super nice and just wonderful back stage.  You couldn't ask for a nicer group of people to be back stage with.  I took a few back stage and then as much as I could of the show.  So sorry I couldn't take more but, ya know, I was performing too, lol.  However, I have to say one of my highlights for the evening didn't even happen on stage, Violet Vixen and I were back stage admiring all the purple costumes.  Iris Le'Mour actually offered to let us roll around naked on her big purple costume!  Seriously, made my night!

And the winners are:

Queen: Donna Denise
King and Most Humerous: Paco Fish
Most Classic: Smokin' McQueen
Most Original: Marla Meringue
Best Variety/Sideshow: EmpeRoar Fabulous
Sweetest Tease: Ida Claire
Producer's Choice: Iris Le'Mour

Myself, B, Sunny Midnight, Bourgeois Betty and our new friend Red Herring ended up at the magical IHOP! (Told ya finding an IHOP would help)


Photos from the Saturday Sweet Tease Pageant 


Day 4, Sunday, June 10th
We wake up and scramble to pack everything up so we can be out of the hotel by check-out at noon.  We headed over to The Mill to grab brunch and say our goodbyes.  It was wonderful to see everyone and get to spend the weekend with so many amazing performers from all over the world.  We drove home exhausted, but happy!

What people don't realize about running a festival....

is that it's scary as shit.  This year marked our 2nd Annual Southern Fried Burlesque Fest here in Atlanta, GA.  It was amazing, it was spectacular, it was truly breath taking and it almost didn't happen.  It costs us around $17,000 to produce Southern Fried Burlesque Fest 2011, so last year we were in the hole around $5,000 (maybe more, I'd have to check) at the end of the weekend.  (And no, Ursula Undress and I do not get paid and have, in fact thrown personal money into it that we know we'll never get back)  We knew it was a risk, but we did it anyway because we love burlesque, we love the community, we love being able to offer classes and performances that you cannot normally find in Atlanta and most of the Southeast.  We also really wanted it to all be in one location so people wouldn't have to find rides, stay at different hotels, etc... so people could actually spend time together and make actual friends.  A wonderful person who wishes to remain anonymous loaned us the money for the deposit this year we were able to start on 2012 while we finished paying off all the bills from 2011.  Thanks to a fundraiser with The 2011 Queen of Burlesque, Miss Indigo Blue, in November we returned the loaned hotel deposit then and SFBF 2011 was paid off in December of 2011 thanks to a very successful Tits for Toys for Tots show by Syrens of the South.  So we started 2012 at zero towards SFBF 2012.

As people purchased weekend passes we bought everything we knew we had to have: air fare for the guests we flew in; actual badges (you have to admit, they were awesome); programs; and miscellaneous items like the crowns, ink, labels and paper for the printers, etc....  Come February we were starting to freak out, what if no body came to the festival, what if we bought 144 t-shirts (the shops minimum) and no one bought any, etc....these are all things that every producer is terrified of, but with an $18,000 bill, it's that much more terrifying.  There was some praying, some soul searching and many, many back up plans for the what if scenarios, but people came!

People didn't just come, but people came in droves.  People volunteered and we had help this year! (Last year we had, and I am not exaggeration, 4 volunteers)  The shows were amazing, the class schedule was amazing and everyone who came brought a special part of the festival with them and made the entire weekend magical.  So thank you!  Seriously, I mean that will all of my little black heart, THANK YOU!  I won't lie, we still didn't break even.  Syrens is going to throw in money to help cover the difference (that's the point of owning a production company, right, to help with productions?) and there's a chance that Ursula and I may have to turn tricks (I'm kidding) but we were so close and that's with starting at zero on January 1st.

So what does this tell me?  We're definitely doing it again next year!  With not having as much to pay off from the previous year 2013 should be much easier for us to put together.  Less heart attacks all around for everyone.  We've learned a lot this year from issues that have come up and we think that we're finally getting in a position to make it truly amazing as we have some of the very best volunteers in the world so it is not all on myself and Ursula.  So next year should be bigger and better then 2012, just like 2012 was bigger and better then 2011.

However, you guys will have to be patient as one of the big things we learned was pay off the previous year before starting the next one, so please be patient while we do that and then we'll be announcing next year's Southern Fried Burlesque Fest!

PS. Please note that these are my opinions and not necessarily those of Ursula or anyone else as I didn't ask them, lol.

2011-06-04 Americana Burlesque and Sideshow Festival

This year celebrates ABSFest's 5th Birthday in Asheville, NC, The Paris of the South!  The creation of Madame Onca, this yearly event celebrates the disciplines of burlesque and sideshow making it just as much about the variety as well as the striptease.  With acts varying from jugglers, vocalists, magicians, pole performers, drag kings and queens, aerialists, belly dancers, and of course the ecdysiasts!  The very first festival back in 2006 was headlined by the multi-talented Princess Farhana of Hollywood who reprised her role as headliner this year to celebrate five years of amazing performances.  Princess Farhana is a world renowned belly dancer, burlesque performer and teacher of both disciplines.  I was fortunate enough to perform at the second ABSFest and the event opened with a documentary about her that was amazingly fascinating.  After seeing all she's accomplished in
both worlds it was truly an honor to be asked to share a stage with her this year.

As a performer let me just say how amazing everyone that was involved in the festival.  We were given amazingly detailed emails as to what information was needed from us for the producers, for the sound engineers, for the lighting techs, and for the prop and panty wranglers.  Everything was beautifully organized, professional, we were all given time on stage in an efficient manner so we could all do walk throughs, go over sound cues and prop placement.  So before I go through the rest of the festival, let me say thank you to everyone that worked behind the scenes that may or may not ever get thanked or acknowledged.

The festival actually started with a red carpet gala on Friday night at The Bebe Theater.  The infamous Purple Party Bus provided by La Zoom carried the performers on a quickie drunken tour of Asheville while being entertained by each other.  The write up for this event went as follows, "The theater bus pulls up, the glittering artists disembark, tumbling along the Red Carpet in a swirl of laughter, and the party starts. This is just the beginning of a three-run of debauchery and high art... a teaser, if you will. The Opening Ceremonies will be hosted this year by Philadelphia's comedy storytelling duo, Sidetracked, and are followed by awards, performance, live music, appetizers and more."   I wasn't in town for it this year but having been on the bus for the 2nd and 3rd ABSFest I am well aware of what silliness goes on.

One of the things that I love about this festival is all the classes.  Belly dance, burlesque, MC, Aerial, Ukulele, Hooping, Juggling, fire and even some private sessions with Armitage Shanks to have some one on one time polish up numbers.   Many have been performing for years but you never quit learning.  My theory is that if Dirty Martini and Jo Boobs are still going to pop in and take classes when they're out of time then no one's too good to take a class.  So if you ever get a chance to take a class from people as amazing Armitage Shanks or Princess Farhanna please hop on it, you won't regret it!


The Saturday Specatular was held at The Orange Peel.  The space is just amazing; huge stage, great lighting and sound set up, and plenty of room for the audience and a burlesque bizarre lining the walls for everyone's shopping needs.  There was belly dance attire, circus attire, steampunk accessories as well as many other items that one might need to remember the event.  The show itself held up to its name and was truly spectacular.  It was a blur of aerialists, some amazing pole work to Max Raabe's version of "Let's Talk About Sex", Salome Cabaret's Ula Uberbusen did a spectacular tribute to crazy cat ladies everywhere with the evening punctuated with Princess Farhanna performing twice, once belly dancing and once doing burlesque.  The entire event was MC'd by Armitage Shanks who did an amazing job with introductions as well as some wonderfully creepy songs including closing the show with "Pink Elephants on Parade" from Dumbo for curtain call where all the performers and audience were encouraged to get in touch with their inner pachyderms. It was an amazing festival and I wish I could have been there for all of it, but being there for at least part of it was still enough to take my breathe away.  If you get a chance I highly recommend submitting to perform or even just going to be in the audience and take the classes for the 2012 event.


There was no photography at the event so I wasn't able to take more then a few backstage snap shots but you can see many of the amazing performances on the ABSFest YouTube Channel.  Below are some interviews with Madamce Onca about ABSFest.

2011-03-10 The First Annual Southern Fried Burlesque Fest

Many years ago I (Katherine Lashe) was kicking around the idea of producing a burlesque festival in Atlanta.  I spoke with other people around Atlanta and it seemed like a huge undertaking I just wasn't ready for.  A few years go by, probably close to 100 shows produced and having attended tons of festivals, I felt a little more ready to take on the task.  In March 2010 I began having talks with The Holiday Inn Conference Center in Decatur, GA, with assistance from Ursula Undress, since she's an experienced wedding planner by day.  By the end of April I had a contract and by the end of May I had put down the deposit.

By June, Ursula had gone from an advisor to doing all of the graphics as well as being a co conspirator as to the direction the festival was taking.  When we realized that people were actually interested and we were indeed having a festival we were lucky enough to be joined in January 2011 by Ruby Redmayne who rounded up sponsors and vendors in lighting speed!  All of this hard work is what lead up to the First Southern Fried Burlesque Fest (SFBF).

On Wednesday, March 9, 2011, I picked up our headliner, international burlesque star, Dirty Martini; documentary director Gary Beeber; and our stage manager for the festival, the Bishop of Burlesque, David Bishop.  I got them settled in at the hotel so I could run an errand and get ready for dinner.  After meeting up with Ursula Undress we went to Watershed Restaurant for an AMAZING dinner.  I highly recommend the Crawfish Pies and Creamy Stone Ground Shrimp Grits with Toasted Pullman Plank, though there was nothing on the menu that wasn't delicious.  Afterwards we dropped them all back off at the hotel and went for our last night of sleep before the festival.


Thursday, March 10, 2011, we did some last minute errands before making our way to the hotel to set up registration and prepare for the Cock-Tails Party and Atlanta Screening of Dirty Martini and the New Burlesque.  Ursula went to pick up The Headmistress of the New York School of Burlesque, Jo "Boobs" Weldon; The Burlesque Mayor of New York, Jonny Porkpie; and Burlesque Legend, Tiffany Carter. The hotel was descended upon by international burlesque glitterati for sweet tea, pigs in a blanket, fruit and cheese trays provided by the festival; with cocktails at the bar.  Once the snacks had cleared everyone went into the ballroom to watch the documentary.  It was an amazing film that really got behind the glitz and glamor of the "new burlesque" and how things have evolved.  Afterwards I moderated the Q&A so everyone got to ask questions of Gary Beeber and Dirty Martini about the film, burlesque, film making, etc... It was a really great experience and very informative.  We're hoping to continue you the tradition of having screenings of burlesque documentaries and themed movies to show burlesque's influence on the screen as well as on the stage.


Friday, March 11, 2011, at 9am had vendors open selling wares and began the series of classes offered at SFBF.  One room held all of our movement classes while the other held all of the lecture classes.  There were dance, stage presence, craft, history, prop, and other amazing classes offered by neo-burlesque performers, burlesque legends, and other members of the burlesque trade.  While classes were going on the Friday night performers were doing their tech rehearsals.  


Friday night was the Free Range International Burlesque Showcase and The Hatchling Student Showcase.  The talent for the Free Range show was amazing and included performers from all over the world and opened with Atlanta's own Big Mike and The Dames Aflame doing the full Elvis Gospel Choir to bring the energy up for the show, then came Kisa von Teasa (Knoxville), Vivienne Vermuth (Dallas), Katherine Lashe (Atlanta), Lola Spitfire (Denver), Mitzy Cream (Toronto), Iva Handful (Seattle), Moxie Sazerac (New Orleans), Chad Sanborn (Atlanta), Lady Ginger Licious (New Orleans), Dolly Derringer (Athens, OH), a very pregnant Ursula Undress (Atlanta), and Lydia de Carllo (Vancouver) rounding out the show before the Legends and Headliners took the stage.  First up was Gyna Rose Jewel who wowed the crowd with her classic moves and light up robe and pasties.  It was an amazing blend of classic burlesque with a modern twist.  Next was Jonny Porkpie (New York) who showed his Olympic level routine and brought the house down with the perfect blend of sex and humor.  Then came Burlesque Legend Tiffany Carter who smoldered with sex and she strutted her classic take on burlesque in a beautiful tribute to her friends who had passed and showed the audience why she was a former Miss Nude!  Following Tiffany was Jo "Boobs" Weldon, doing her classic tribute to Gypsy Rose Lee in gold fringe flying everywhere seemingly brighter then the sun.  Closing the show was Dirty Martini with her kick ass tribute to Tura Satana and the bad girls of old dressed as Batman.  It was high energy, fun and amazing.


The Hatchling Student Showcase almost brought a tear to my eye.  I MCed the show as I usually do for the students, but Tease U students from Atlanta's ABCs & 123s of Burlesque students were joined by Knoxville's Salome Cabaret Burlesque Academy's Students, who opened the show.  First up was Nipsy Tussel who had amazing stage presence and was totally fearless!  Then came Nica Luna who was done up as a Day of the Dead character with amazing make-up and costuming, it was hard to believe it was her first show.  Then came the Atlanta students, beginning with Sunny Midnight who showed us all her "Love Whip" and how sexy being awkward can be.  Following her was Ruby le Chatte who did a sensual dance that would make a French lounge singer blush.  Teacups Devereaux showed us how much she wanted to be evil which is against her seemingly sweet disposition.  Brandy Noir did a Vegas Style routine that would have made the Rat Pack proud.  Closing out the show was Pearl E. White, who knocked out the audience with her Rocky tribute.


Saturday again began with classes while the vendors were selling their wares.  The evening brought The First Annual Southern Fried Burlesque Pageant!  Best Duet included Freya West and Mr Exposition (Nashville), Queertini Time (Austin), and The Fister Sisters (Knoxville).  Best Variety included Catatonic Raucous (Atlanta),  Bourgeois Betty (Augusta), and Tim Monteith (Atlanta).  Southern Fried Burlesque Queen included Vivian MirAnn (Albuquerque), Red Hot Annie (Chicago), Siren Santina (Knoxville), Hottie McNaughty (Seattle), Madame Mae I (Vancouver), Lola le Soliel (Atlanta), Wham Bam Pam (Washington D.C.), and Honey Cocoa Bordeauxx (Dallas).  While we were tallying votes our headliners took the stage.  The Godfather of Atlanta Burlesque, Torchy Taboo, did a tribute to Gone With the Wind that showed her magnolia roots.  Our MC for the pageant Jonny Porkpie did a routine that included an amazing fan dance and fringe in to emphasis his *ahem* attributes.  Dirty Martini did an amazing number to Purple Haze that made the crowd go wild with her flurry of feathers.  And the winners are....

The First Southern Fried Burlesque Queen - Siren Santina

Southern Fried Burlesque Queen
Siren Santina

Second Runner Up and
Best Costume Lola le Soliel 

First Runner Up Vivian MirAnn

Most Classic
Honey Coco Bordeauxx

Best Variety and
Most Humerous
Bourgeois Betty

Best Duest and Audience Choice
Queertini Time

Once the excitement of the Pageant wore down it was time for the Dirty South Showcase which included some of the best performers from all over the Southeast.  It opened with Lah Lah Luscious (Atlanta), Delinda d'Rabbit (Knoville), Rosie Palms (Atlanta), Dolly Dee (Charleston),  Rachel Riot (Fayetteville), Kittie Katrina (Atlanta), Curvature (Atlanta), Fonda Lingue (Atlanta), Lysa Strata (Memphis), Tupelo Honey (Atlanta), Salome Cabaret (Knoxville), and closing out the show was Torchy Taboo who did her Tiger routine which had all the grace of the cat she was portraying.  Afterwards there was some naughty picture taking in the lobby since all the hotel rooms have windows facing down, it was an exhibitionist's and a voyeur's wet dream. We've spoken to the hotel so there's a good chance we'll be able to recreate this again next year! 

Sunday, March 13, 2011, was a day for recovery!  With the time change we didn't get started with the Legend's of Burlesque Panel until 10am.  For two hours, patrons could ask questions of Gyna Rose Jewel, Tiffany Carter and Torchy Taboo.   Questions ranged from how burlesque was and where it may be going and everything in between.  It's a great time to get to know the Legends and hear how different it used to be.  I always love hearing about the stage door johnnies that would bring flowers, furs and marriage proposals.  If only that were still true today!  After the Legends Panel, Dr. Sketchy's Atlanta had a special session with many of the performers from out of town who don't normally get to model in Atlanta.  It was also one of the few times photographers were also welcome at Dr. Sketchy's since there was plenty of room for sketchers and shooters alike.  My keyhole ended up being the perfect backdrop for all the girls.  The Queen had a great time posing with her tiara!

Overall, we were really pleased with the applicants, the performers that ended up being picked for the shows, the teachers, the legends and some amazing volunteers!  I'm very pleased to announce that we will be doing this again next year at the Holiday Inn Decatur Conference Center on March 8-11, 2012.  They've already confirmed that we will again have the $99 a night deal plus breakfast in the morning as well.  Next year will be bigger and better and we're already planning for some amazing after parties and trying to figure out a good way to take advantage of the indoor pool!  We hope to see you there next year and we're currently accepting 2012 Sponsors with some half price packages and discount weekend passes at only $100 until August 1, 2011, when they go up to $150.  We'll begin accepting applications for performers from August 1, 2011 thru November 15, 2011 with all applicants being notified by January 1, 2012 so everyone has plenty of time to plan their travel and get cheap advance flights.

Here is the slideshow for the Southern Fried Burlesque Fest Group on Flickr.  I know many of the photographers are in the process of getting their pics up but I wanted to make sure that everyone could find it!

2010-10-16 10th Annual Little Five Points Halloween Festival and Parade

This past weekend was the 10th Annual Little 5 Points Halloween Festival and Parade.  If you're unfamiliar with Little Five Points, it's Atlanta answer to Manhattan's Greenwich Village, being a center of artistic expression, local pub and bars showcasing the best in Atlanta alternative and underground music.  It has been the heart of Atlanta Counter Culture since the early 1900s.  This year marked 10 official years of the local freaks gathering in Little Five Points to celebrate the one holiday that makes them all feel normal and the "normal" people get to dress up and take a trip to their wild side.  The Festival began Friday night at 5pm with street vendors, food carts and live out door performances to gear up for the excitement of Saturday.  I was very excited to see that Pallookaville had a line around the truck proving that gourmet corn dogs are never a bad
idea, that with the smell of BBQ, homemade chili and funnel cakes and other fried things that truly make it smell like a fall festival.

Saturday was the main event with the part of the roads blocked off for the Parade, this year's Grand Marshall was Unknown Hinson. He was a natural choice as he regularly does at least two sold out shows each year in Atlanta and was playing at Variety Playhouse later that night.  As the ladies of Syrens of the South were his opening act, Katherine Lashe, Ruby Redmayne and a kidnapped Anita got to ride with him!  The ladies got a lot of practice with their princess waves!  The "float" was actually a vintage black pick-up truck that had a red velvet couch that was accented with zebra stripped faux fur for Unknown Hinson to ride in while the ladies sat down at his feet, it was definitely classy!  (See picture below, thank you Photognome!)  I think what made it especially so was the Pabst Blue Ribbon car directly behind us handing out free schwag.  It was in the shape of a PBR Can with hot rod wheels and the hood ornament was a PBR keg tap.

Honestly, the whole parade was covered in Atlanta Burlesque Stars!  Talloolah Love was playing her viola with The Vauxhall Garden Variety Players, Johnny No Thumbs was drumming with The Imperial Opa Circus, La La Lucious was driving her Pink Pussy Cat Car with Tribe, Pera Dance Studios was showing off many of their amazing teachers including having an aerial rig they pulled with them, Awalim and Turnin' TriXXX danced their way along the parade route.  


Some of my favorite floats included the Kudzu Queen, because we're in Georgia and someone needs to be the Queen of it, and the Java Lords float that sprayed blood out of the claws.  One of my favorite things about parades is always the live music and there were so many bands and groups either playing and marching or floats.  It was an amazing day of the whole community coming together and having a great party.

Below are pictures taken by a little bit of everybody!

2010-09-17 New Orleans Burlesque Fest

This year was the second annual New Orleans Burlesque Festival produced by Rick Delaup and Secrets in Lace.  Sadly due to a scheduling conflict I was only able to attend the Friday night shows, but they were so amazing that it almost makes up for me not seeing the Queen of Burlesque competition with live band on Saturday night...almost...  Performers from all over the country descended on NOLA to perform classic burlesque at both Harrah's Casino and the original House of Blues.

The first show was Mondo Burlesque at Harrah's Casino.  The audience was dressed to the nines and still couldn't compete with the amazing outfits and costumes on stage.  The show was hosted by the Mistress of Ceremonies Cora Vette who sang, complete with back up dancers from Dames D'lish and BurlyCute, in addition to keeping the audience entertained between acts.  She had the voice of an angel and the mouth of a sailor, which turned out to be an amazing combination!

Performers for Mondo Burlesque included an adorable house wife number by Vicky Sin from New York, an amazing group number by The Chicago Starlets that was one of the best choreographed and well timed and thought out group numbers I have ever seen, and Ophelia Flame from Minneapolis who did an amazing number with silk fans, then came Ursula Undress from Atlanta who did her tribute to Bettie Page to Wild Cat, she drove the crowd wild with her shimmy, shake and SHAZAM!

Cora Vette then changed her outfit and looked like Burlesque Rainbow Brite, it was a brilliant outfit complete with boots!  After that was the naughty twins Mina Mechante and Deirdre Doll from Chicago proving that two is better then one and that sometimes you don't have to choose!  Dinah Might from London was next with a beautiful and forceful fan dance that included slapping around Atlanta's own Derrick Jackson, I've never seen a man so slap happy.  Then came Angi B Lovely from Dallas who is not only an amazing burlesque performer but a skilled aerialist as well.  I never get tired of seeing her climb the silks and my heart always stops when she does the drop at the end.  I know for a fact she's going to be okay but I get so caught up in her performance it surprises me every time!

Cora Vette then changed into a sparkly green ensemble with hair down to her butt, her hair do had been growing through out all over her changes, a nice touch.  After that was The Bon-Bons from St. Louis.  I love these girls, they're fun, they're sassy and each performer has their own personality come through even when they're all doing the same dance move.  Keeping your individuality while doing a group number is a fine line and they walk it beautifully!  Then came Jo Boobs, the Headmistress of the New York School of Burlesque.  She was a vision in gold beaded fringe that shimmied around her like an angel's halo.  Her connection with the audience was very apparent and the audience was hanging on every shimmy, shake, bump and grind.  Jett Adore from The Stage Door Johnnie's in Chicago was the only male to grace the stage at Harrah's that evening.  He did a Zorro number that had everyone in the audience swooning with each article that came off during his sword fight and the ladies were fighting to catch a glimpse of what was under his cape.  The answer was not much!  Kitten DeVille from LA and Miss Exotic World 2002 did her tribute to Dixie Evan's Producer's Chair routine that was taught to her by Dixie Evan's herself.  The act started off cute and cheeky and went into a raunchy sexuality that I am sure was shocking in the 50s and 60s when Dixie did this act.  Some how Kitten DeVille kept the act classy and full of raw sex, which is not an easy task.  The finale was Chicago's Michelle L'amour, Miss Exotic World 2005, who did a panther routine that left the audience begging for more.  Her movements and attitude really made you believe that she was a wild animal trapped in a cage that could devour you at any moment.  It was captivating, compelling and and a beautiful and graceful way to end the show.

I took over a thousand pictures of the show so I hope you enjoy!




The second show that evening was at the House of Blues for Risque Soiree.  It opened with an act from Minneapolis that had Cadillac Kolstad playing while Tomahawk Tassels danced.  Then came the Master of Ceremonies Johnny Rock from New Orleans.  The performers included the amazing Pearl Lux from Austin, Madame Mystere of New Orleans, Virginia D'Vine of Toronto, Sammich the Tramp from St. Louis who was the only variety act and was amazing.  Rosie 151 of New York, Vivian Velvet of Chicago who gave all new meaning to saluting America, Bazuka Joe of Chicago's Stage Door Johnnie's had an amazing use of towels down to his wash cloth. Kiss Me Kate of San Francisco, Lydia DeCarllo of Vancouver who did an amazing fan dance. New Orleans Burlesque Legend Wild Cherry wowed her audience, Red Snapper of LA, the amazing Ray Gunn of Chicago, also of Stage Door Johnnies did a Matrix Routine that did indeed defy gravity.  Charlotte Treuse of Portland did a beautifully classic routine followed by Shanghai Pearl of Seattle who never ceases to amaze.  Then came out the heavy hitters!  Satan's Angel, Queen of the Fire Tassels, came out with her signature act and the crowd went crazy as the lights dimmed and her flaming tatas twirled before the lights came back up with her flowing robe like wings wrapped around her.  The headliner of the show was Catherine D'lish, who has won over 30 titles, came out in an amazing corset covered in feathers with a tail that made her look like a peacock with it's teal color and length.  As the corset and tail came off she replaced them with two amazing fans that were absolutely breathe taking.  Her skill and grace with fans are unmatched and to see someone using fans twice their height is absolutely mesmerizing.  Sadly I could not get as many photos at HOB (only 348) due to my being short and it being insanely crowded.  Always good for the performers and the promoter, not so much if you're holding a camera and can't see, lol.  I hope that you do enjoy the ones I did get to take!



Sadly I did not get to see the main event which is the Queen of Burlesque competition on Saturday night at Harrah's Casino.  All the performers do their routines with a live band just like they used to back in the day.  It's a very unique experience and I am very sorry to have missed it this year.  The competitors included some of the best burlesque performers in the country, many who have also competed for Miss Exotic World/Reigning Queen of Burlesque at The Burlesque Hall of Fame. The Mistress of Ceremonies was the amazing Kitten on the Keys.  Coco Electric from Austin was crowned The Queen of Burlesque with Renea'le Roux from Las Vegas receiving first runner up and Lola Van Ella of St. Louis received second runner up.  Other performers hoping for the crown included: Ruby Joule of Austin, Amber Ray of New York, Evie Lovelle of LA, Indigo Blue of Seattle, Catherine D'lish of Seattle and Ginger Valentine of Dallas.  There were also special non competition performances by Athena and Dante the Magician, both from New Orleans.

I hope that there will be many more years of the New Orleans Burlesque Festival as this is an amazing event and truly captures the essence of Classic Burlesque!