Anytime you see me is my most embarrassing moment. I am pretty much embarrassed all of the time since I'm actually painfully shy and insecure. I never know if I am doing, saying, wearing, etc... the right thing. It is a constant balancing act of trying to figure out what I am supposed to be doing at any given time, especially since I have vastly different social groups I am forced to hang out with due to work. Am I being too casual, too business, not business enough, too friendly, too cold...seriously, I NEVER KNOW!
I can fake it most of the time, but generally I am constantly grasping at straws trying to figure out what exactly I'm supposed to do. Have you ever seen Dexter
? He always has this inner monologue and is trying to figure out how normal people act? What is the socially acceptable and expecting thing to do right now? THAT'S ME ALL THE TIME. I'm not a serial killer. I have never chopped any animal or person to little pieces and hid the body. I'm just really socially awkward. I was the only girl that played D&D
in elementary school, I was really good at math, I never did homework and still ended up in the gift program at school. I dressed weird. I actually did the Time Warp from The Rocky Horror Picture Show
as part of a presentation for a project in middle school. I was the definition of inappropriate and antisocial/awkward growing up. This did not change as I got older.I did get lucky and found other people who were into the same things I was. Found the rest of my freaks and weirdos, but it still sometimes feel like I've snuck in and waiting to be found out. Any minute they're going to discover I've infiltrated their cool club and figure out that I don't really belong.
I know a lot of this is left over from when I was a kid and being a geek wasn't cool like it is now. There are pictures of me at Sci-Fi Cons as a baby. I have the coronation dress I wore as a baby when my dad was crowned King in the SCA. I watched all the Dr. Who and everything else on PBS that there was because that's what my parents (and grandparents) watched. I am a third generation geek. Going through my grandparents house and have boxes and boxes of sic-fi and actual science books. I can't imagine a house not being covered in books because it's all I've ever known. So yeah, I come by it honestly, but these are not the things that "made you cool" when I was growing up. Sure, I was queen of the geeks (only girl, I pretty much got it by default) but that still meant I was a geek in a an ungeek friendly world.
So yeah, pretty much any time you see me I am embarrassed going over things in my head trying to figure out what to do. Every moment of my life is the most embarrassing moment ever and I'm just trying to get through it.
fan since I was a kid. The first Doctor I remember was 
, the 4th doctor in the series. You never forget your first doctor. I know I saw the previous and the latter, but that's who I remember the most from my childhood. I think it was the iconic quirkiness and the giant scarf that made him so memorable. So, having seen that and being considered an outcast and a weirdo for it when I was a child,* it was rather interesting to me that there was all of a sudden a resurgence of Doctor Who. I mean, sure, I had a Tom Baker Doctor Who burlesque routine complete with Tardis and scarf, but all of a sudden people out side of cons were recognizing that it was a Tardis and not just a Police Box.** I caught a few of these newer episodes, but nothing regularly as I didn't really have time. Since I just graduated in Dec and I wasn't producing, stage managing, etc... anything in January it seemed like it was time. It was every bit as hokey and wonderful as I remember it being when I was a kid. I started with the 
1st season^ and watched all the way through the first half of the 7th season^^ because that was as far as it would let me go with my Amazon Prime membership.
...so I watched that. All of that. Seriously, I think it took me like 4 days to watch all four seasons. The season in America got weird and frankly, it was funny to hear him be "American" and continually mispronounce words.# I am sure they feel that way when they see American's do bad British accents so I guess it's all fair. But that was only four seasons, and not even full seasons at that, so I still had time to kill and needed SOMETHING to be background noise while I worked on my computer all the time for 
novels by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle so I am no stranger to the great detective. The "seasons" (seriously? 3 episodes each) were based on the original stories which were well done. It was fun and I enjoyed Benedict Cumberbatch in the role. I used to watch the 
and 
versions when I was younger.## I have been in love with these stories for a long time and I think that it's something that will always fascinating to people because of the amazingness of his mind. We all wish that we were that observant. If you were smart enough you could actually work to be as great as he was. You didn't need lots of money, or super powers, you just had to be smart and dedicated. And the fact that Sherlock has flaws with addition and being a high functioning sociopath it makes him more likable because he's not perfect. Television shows like 
, 
, etc... exist because of an on going fascination with Doyle's work. Even modern day crime shows like 
, 
, that are based on examining evidence owe their existence to him. So now I'm watching the new episodes as they come out and I remember why I tend to wait until a show is cancelled to watch because I am terribly impatient.
to the list of must watch this month of British theme. It's kinda awesome. I was reluctant to get into it because everyone was ranting and raving about it so much it rather put me off. Last time someone ranted and raved about something I was sorely disappointed because there was no way it could live up after being built up that much. However, I do love a period piece and that's exactly what this is. It very much reminded me of 
, maybe because Maggie Smith was in that as well.~ We don't have nobility in the USA so I think that's why so many of us are a little fascinated by it. It's part of our history and yet means nothing to us here. It's a study of the class system and you end up feeling pretty bad and attached to everyone involved no matter their station. I am now keeping up with it as the new episodes come on as well. I went as far as I could on Amazon Prime and then watched the episodes on the 
for back ground noise while I decide, but I've seen them all before. I'm taking recommendations.