Monday, December 22, 2014
The Solstice is the turning point, a celebration of the days getting longer which ironically officially marks the first day of winter. It's a rebirth, a new start, the return of the light. The New Moon, when the moon is closest to the Earth and yet hidden from the sky by the Earth's own shadow like a creepy stalker trying to get closer to you by lurking in the shadows. The New Moon is also a rebirth celebration in many beliefs, so yesterday seemed to be a good time to get a new start on the world...my problem is that I don't want a new start.
I guess that's not entirely true, I want a start over. I want to fix things. I want to make things better. I want my life to be something meaningful and creative and not boring, yet I also really want things to be stable and comfortable and safe. There's a balance in there somewhere, I want to find it. I don't need to start new things, I just need to be able to do more than one thing at a time sanely. This means saying no more instead of taking everything on, this means having down time so I can rest and relax, this means also simplifying my life in general. Less things, less stress, less work.
Maybe this is fitting for the Solstice and New Moon. Maybe it's right that my life would be turning upside down right now. Or maybe I'm just looking for a greater meaning for my upheaval than just sometimes things go wrong, go weird, go away and there's no reason for it. Not even the universe can make sense of it sometimes. Either way, this next year is going to be something new that I don't know if I'm ready for, but we'll see.